On Wednesday morning I was invited to speak on Dubai Eye’s, The Business Breakfast about Anger Management- a topic I’m incredibly passionate about. When asked by one of the presenters at the end of the interview if I thought we were getting angrier, I had to be honest and say that unfortunately, I feel that we are. So, while it might work for some people to pay to smash hundreds of plates against a wall in “anger rooms” (according to a recent CNN report) I’m all about taking more constructive action- and saving plates!
Here are three things you can do right now to control your anger you may be harboring:
1. Develop the habit of asking yourself, “Is getting angry here helpful?”
I’m not saying I don’t get angry anymore but I’m definitely a lot more in control of my anger and one tool/ habit that I have to thank for this is that habit of using “Thinking Time”. Through enhanced self-awareness, I recognise when I’m getting angry and before I get to that stage of shouting or saying something I know I’ll regret later, I literally very quickly ask myself, “Is getting angry here helpful?” and not once has my rational brain actually replied with “Yes”! You cannot control the plethora of thoughts that pop into your head every day of every hour, but you can control how you react to them and learning to develop a habit of “Thinking Time”, combined with asking yourself that simple question, encourages a different response.
2. Choose to respond rather than react
How many of us make the decision to respond to a situation rather than just reacting to it without thinking? By developing even greater levels of self-management we create greater choice for ourselves, and we all know that choice is better than no choice, right? So ask yourself, what would you have to do in order to make a better choice in certain situations? Is it about taking a deep breath and developing some “Thinking Time” before responding? Is it about removing yourself from the situation to gain a new perspective? Or could it be about talking it through with a friend first? Because how you choose to respond to people, comments and situations that you don’t always agree with is a small thing when you compare it to the bigger consequences it can have.
3. Recognise your triggers
How do you know when it’s time to get something to eat? How do you know when it’s time to pick up your phone? And like-wise how do you know when it’s time to get angry? What are your triggers? Because if you don’t recognise your own triggers, then how can you work on creating a level of personal change in terms of controlling your response better? It’s only when we make time to identify our triggers that we can then begin working on changing our pattern of response and develop a more constructive response that serves us and those around us better. This is where coaching is extremely powerful in helping us pin-point those little things that we often turn into big things.
If you feel you’d like to develop greater self-awareness and self-management tools, then get in touch with Linda today to book your free 30-minute coaching consultation. Linda works with her clients to highlight the value of change and then empowers them to make those changes that allow them to become the drivers of their own success. Contact Linda now at firstname.lastname@example.org or phone her on 0502038564 or visit www.lindabonnarlifecoach.com